MRI

Towards the end of that summer Lexi's neurologist ordered an MRI. We were nervous and excited to see what this test would say about her potential. Our hope was that we would be given some sort of expectations of what her abilities would one day be. We were constantly being asked by friends and family if Lexi would ever walk or talk. The older she got the less we envisioned these to be possibilities but we still held out hope.

The results were far more devastating than we could have imagined. Her neurologist showed us the picture of Lexi's brain. We saw that most of it was missing. All that was there was the brain stem and a little bit of the cerebellum. Her Dr. said it was the worst case of brain damage she had seen in her career. The cells after dying had been absorbed in the body so her head was mostly filled with water. There was only about %10 percent of her brain even there.

The Dr. mentioned her "mental retardation" as she talked about the results. I remember hating that because I saw Lexi as intelligent. Daniel and I struggled to process this new information.

Once again we were faced with what a test told us about our daughter and what we saw with our own eyes. Her neurologist could not account for all that Lexi was able to do. Her results showed that Lexi should have been blind, deaf, and completely unaware of her surroundings. She was missing all of those parts of her brain. Somehow though what was left was taking over tasks of the part that was lost in incredible ways.

We realized that EVERYTHING Lexi does is a gift. Her smiles are a gift. Her laughter is a gift. Her connection with certain people and special bond with her daddy is a gift. Her ability to dream when she sleeps. Her memory. Her fears and anxieties. Her almost perfect vision and hearing. All gifts. The fact that her head has grown normally and is not misshapen is a gift. Her ability to make choices and understand what we say is a gift.

I know there is even more to Lexi than we can see. I'm still confident there is intelligence in her eyes at times when she is fully present with us. I think she is the most beautiful person I have ever known. She loves purely and fully.

It was clear that this test was unable to give us the easy answers we were looking for. We had to wait on Lexi to show us what she could do. We understood more than ever that Lexi is truly a miracle!