Freedom!

The summer that Daniel and Lexi were away was honestly one of the best seasons of my life. I had never lived on my own before getting married so for the first time I could do what I wanted without having to consider someone else. Caden was happy to go everywhere with me. We went to the river with friends and for lots of walks and most days we would go visit Lexi in Portland for a couple hours. I felt free and happy again.

Lexi was doing well and there were no big concerns with her transition to being away from us. I kept short accounts with her caregivers. It was a huge relief to me to be part of a team of people taking care of Lexi rather than all the responsibility resting on my shoulders. We would brainstorm together about concerns that came up and how to address them. I didn't always like other people having opinions about my daughter but overall I was thankful.

I began to loosen up. Gayle and Kathy joke with me now about how uptight I was during that time. I was learning how to enjoy my daughter again and learning how to trust other people with her.

Caden began to act out behaviorally like a regular child. I knew this was healthy and good for him. Our home had been so stressful that even as a little baby he compensated by not making waves, by being perfect. Even now, when things get hard Caden copes by becoming too responsible. Everyone thinks it's so sweet how helpful he is and my heart hurts. I worry about Caden when he doesn't have an emotional meltdown every so often, especially after a hospital stay or extended illness for Lexi. He is very mature emotionally and overall joyful but he is still a little boy.

Daniel loved the academy! He made lifelong friends and it was a good break for him. Our weekends all together were happy and it was an exciting time for our family.