Isolation

I wrote this about a year and a half ago but never posted it. Today I feel brave enough...

Sometimes this life with Lexi feels...

Alone.

Even as I write about her life on these pages I think how can anyone who hasn't lived this really grasp what the hardships of her life have been? How can someone know what it's like to watch your daughter struggle and suffer for most of TEN YEARS unless you too have been there?

That's why it's easy to feel alone with the weight of it all.

Today God blessed me in the midst of a REALLY HARD DAY.

First He let me see life in my 3 boys as they danced and jumped in the pouring rain outside. They were delighted to be alive and their joy was contagious!

Secondly, He gave me a friend to pray and take some of the weight off my responsibilities this week.

Last, when Lexi was screaming during her Nebulizer treatment I held her and she quieted instantly. She was calm and looking around the room, content in my arms. It was a beautiful reminder that even on the worst days she still brings me joy.

I'm so sad for her. My heart is broken watching her hurt so much. There's a constant ache.

But even in grief there is hope...purpose...joy.